Voodoo Doughnut, or life in the hole

There are two locations -

Voodoo Doughnut: 22nd SW Third Ave, Portland, OR
Voodoo Doughnut Too: 1501 NE Davis, Portland, OR

They say at Voodoo Doughnut the magic is in the hole, but what they don't tell you is that the area around the hole should be treated with love too. So don't go rushing in. Enjoy what you are about to be given. Every city has its places with a cult following - the pig out joints, the family favourites, the eateries that have been there since time began, and the drunken stumble that satisfies those food urges that you can only have at three o'clock in the morning after many, many drinks.

I've no doubt that 'Cat Daddy' (a.k.a. Kenneth) wouldn't thank me for describing Voodoo as a drunk hangout, but his two outposts are open twenty-four and twenty-one hours respectively so at certain times of the day, it's inevitable! I met the Cat at his newest venture, Voodoo Doughnut Too, which is out of downtown Portland in the residential north-east quadrant of the city. Opened at the start of this year on the fifth anniversary of trading, by a thousand person parade, you can't miss it, even if you wanted to. It's hot pink - always an eye catcher - and the interior is a kooky mix of schoolroom tables, coffin shaped sofas, pinball machines and blazing techno music. At certain times of the year, weather permitting, the Cat has held rock concerts, drive in cinemas and lets not forget that you can also be legally married there. That's right. Marriage vows and doughnuts. With a raised eyebrow and flaring nose I thought - after all, why not? Then came the stories of various doughnut related contests - a classic eating contest as well as a 'how many doughnuts can you stack on your penis' contest. "The official record is four", Cat told me "but one guy had five. He was disqualified for having a pierced appendage."

You should be able to discern that this is a very 'different' place. At times it feels as though the owners (the other being an unmet Trase Shannon) go out of their way to be deviant (before deciding upon doughnuts they considered, among other things, a vintage car tour of Portland, or a mother-in-law babysitting service). If you want to open a business, why be boring? Yet as fun and exciting as all the paraphernalia is, there's no point in titillation without the end product. This was a major concern to the Cat. "I had a background in bars, hotel management and the service industry" he said "but had never done any full scale culinary work. So the first thing we had to do was find out how to make doughnuts." Seems fair, I thought. They set out for Los Angeles, California where they learned how to handle a rolling pin and when to throw the flour, before returning to Portland. Here they refined, adapted, created and spun their own designs to create the signature Voodoo collection. They also tried a myriad of oils to be more 'healthy' but eventually Cat simply though "Sod it, it's a doughnut. It's supposed to be bad for you." Amen to that, brother. The rest, as they say, is history.

They were schooled well. I opted to try the classics: a simple glazed doughnut and an iced chocolate doughnut. If these were not right, I thought, what hope was there for the 'triple chocolate penetration', the 'butter fingering' or the 'cock and balls'? Of course, they were right. Slightly chewy but as soft as a baby's behind. Not too sweet, but sweet enough. I could have done three more, put it that way. I felt a little staid but well over fifty percent of doughnuts sold at Voodoo are the classics. Yet MORE evidence that people want simple food, done well. And in any case I was given a 'maple bar with bacon' for my travels and a more adventurous frame of mind.

All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable hour. The man had a dream and he's realised it. But a warning: even the seemingly timeless doughnut is not immune from global economic fluctuations. "Last year, the price of a sack of flour tripled." Cat mentioned, looking uncharacteristically serious. "If we can get Voodoo Too through the next six months, we'll be fine." Cue much gulping and difficulty on my part. Not sure what to say. I suddenly saw bank managers making aggressive phone calls and the Cat losing his innate cool. But then, the product is so good, the reputation so strong and the trail to the door so well trodden that there will always be people who want an old-school, fun, cheap date. I'll be taking the woman. And if you ever come to Portland, make sure you do too!

Unless you are a woman, in which case take your man, obviously!